TOXIC MOTHER IN-LAWS 

*HER PLAN WAS SIMPLE "BREAK ME OR PUSH ME OUT"*

*My only offense? Marrying her son.*😰

Dear wives, 

You greeted? she frowned. You cooked? she complained. You're silent? She said you're rude. It wasn't your husband that stressed you, it was his MOTHER every single day!

She entered like the queen and made you feel like the maid. 😣

To be honest, some women are not fighting side chicks but mother in-laws who wants to CONTROL their husbands house and yours. Today is that day to finally discuss *TOXIC MOTHER IN-LAWS* Who wears shoes definitely know where it hurts. 👠 

*RED FLAGS! BEWARE:*🚩

1: Constant calls all in the name of checking up, even during romantic moments.

2: She questions every decision he makes with you. > Who told you to buy that? Was it her idea?

3: She criticizes your role as a wife. > You're not ironing his clothes properly

4: She gets jealous when you both travel or celebrate, then subtly compares herself to you. >When he was with me, he never forgets to pray. Excuse me Madam!🙄

*SIGNS OF A TOXIC MIL:*⚠️ 

_She openly dislikes you, no fake smiles or pretense. Just raw hostility!

_She talks bad about you to others (your husband, her friends and even her pastor)

_She prays for her son to marry another wife. "God Abeg oh! 🗣️ 

_She monitors literally everything you do from how you cook, speak, dress, walk and even breathe.

_She initiates fights between you and hubby on purpose.

_Then that silent treatment during family gathering like you're INVISIBLE.

_She tells your kids not to listen to you. Yes! Some do this. 🤦

_She lies and plays victim when you react > she insulted me! Meanwhile she started it.🤷🏻‍♀️

*Know her game but refuse to play:* Some will push you to react so they can vent to their sons, don't fall for it. Stay composed Queen! 👑 

*ROOTS AND REASONS* 🤔 

1: She never wanted her son to marry you and never fully accepted you as family.

2: She feels like loosing control and sees you as threat.

3: Some think no woman is good enough for their son.

4: Cultural or tribal bias (We don't marry from that side)

5: Past trauma that never healed, now projecting it. 👌🏻

6: Emotional attachment especially if he's the first, last or only son.

*SCARS AND STRUGGLES* 🤕 

_You feel unloved in the family 

_Everything you did was wrong in her eyes, even breathing! 😭 

_You start questioning your worth

_Tension and distance in your marriage.

_Anxiety and depression sets in especially after childbirth.

_Emotional exhaustion from trying to please someone who hates you. 🥹

_Feeling like you're being watched and judged.

_Reduced intimacy with your partner due to third-party interference.

*POWER MOVES AND GRACEFUL WAYS TO DEAL.*💪 

1: Limit access no matter how hard she tries and how hard it gets. Don't grant her power over your home, kids, plans or feelings. She shouldn't know everything, the more she knows >The more she tries to control.

2: Have your husband set boundaries. > Babe I understand she's your mom but I need space as your wife too. (if he can't that's the biggest red flag in the marriage.)

_If he's a real man, set boundaries together unapologetically. Visiting times, calling hours then what's private should be clear! 👂 

You're allowed to say NO to anything that will drain you emotionally.

3: Pray for protection, peace and wisdom.

4: Seek therapy or supportive community. if it's draining you, talk to someone outside the home. You need a safe space and we're here for you. 🫂 

5: Stay respectful but don't be a DOORMAT.

6: Don't fight for position > You're the wife, no need to prove it everyday. (Be yourself, you're enough and you don't need her approval)

Hold your ground with grace queen.

7: Let your actions speak more. Treat yourself, hubby and kids well. Let her see you're not going *ANYWHERE* 📌

8: For your sanity, She has no business living in your husband's house, visiting once in a blue moon is better.

To every wife silently enduring a toxic mother-in-law:

_You are not weak,

It takes incredible strength to stay kind when you're constantly being tested.

_Whether she changes or not, you will rise like a Queen. Not because of her but in spite of her.

_Remember you don't have to keep shrinking to maintain peace, protect your heart at all cost even it means burning bridges as needed. Please choose your *SANITY* daily. 🧘‍♀️

*GETFIT LOVES YOU* ❤️